Whew, where did the summer go? Here one day and almost gone.
Last week I had the chance to unwind, unplug and relax at the beautiful beach of St. Simons Island. It is a second home for me. Nothing fancy, just family, sun and sand.
As I was sitting reading a book and enjoying the sea breeze, I began to think about how much I needed to rejuvenate. Sometimes it takes me getting away to realize how much I just need a break. I made a point to not have my phone with me 24-7 and not be "on call" and checking email daily. I wanted to fully relax and recenter.
Now, those of you who know me, now it is incredibly hard for me to relax and say no. Over the past months I have felt completely down, and exhausted. I felt like I was letting people down by trying to say no in order to protect myself. But instead, still found myself involved with just as many activities as before.
I guess I forgot what the point of saying no was.
When I checked back into reality and looked at email, my eyes were drawn to the Proverbs 31 devotion entitled, "Pretending I'm Fine or Proving I'm Right". It hit me like a ton of bricks. Just reading the title, took me a while to click on the message. I knew it was going to speak right to me. Because "pretending I am fine" has become my day-to-day routine.
After it was one of the last emails I had left to read, I took a deep breath and began to read the words that were so beautifully written about peace and honesty.
Tears began to fill my eyes as I fished reading and realizing that I have not been honest with myself. I have tried to continue to prove that I could juggle numerous task because I did in college. If I did it then, why not now? And looking back to that, was extremely unhealthy. But that is another post for another day.
So friends, a little glimpse as to where I have been. It is no easy task for me to write this or to take my "face" off, but I guess that is part of the honestly boat I was missing.
I am so excited for the things to come and to continue living out God's plan for my life.
